Rabbi Stephen Weiss
Parshat Vayishlah 2013
What were those small objects that were of such great importance to Jacob? We do not know; but we all have small objects that hold great significance and blessing for us.
In this week’s parshah, Vayishlach, we find Jacob at the end of his sojourn with Laban, returning to the land of Israel. Jacob, afraid that Esau will seek revenge, sends messengers to bring gifts and to placate his brother. The messengers return to Jacob saying, “We came to your brother Esau. He himself is coming to meet you, and there are four hundred men with him.”
The specter of Esau marching toward him with an army terrified Jacob. In his anxiety, he divides the people with him – as well as his flocks, herds and camels – into two camps, and crosses over the River Jabbok where he is alone.
We can picture Jacob tossing and turning all night long as sleep eludes him. Then suddenly his solitude is invaded. An Ish, (a man? an angel? a man/angel?) attacks him and Jacob is involved in an all-night wrestling match. They wrestle right up to the approaching dawn. The Torah says “And when he [the Ish] saw that he prevailed not against him [Jacob], he touched the hollow of his thigh; and the hollow of Jacob’s thigh was strained, as he wrestled with him. He said: “Let me go, for the dawn is breaking” [Genesis 32:26]. But Jacob refuses to do until the Ish blesses him. The Ish does so by bestowing upon Jacob a new name – Israel – “because you have striven with God and with men and have prevailed.”
The Midrash comments on the wording of this passage. Reflecting on what the Ish saw – Rabbi Levi said: “And he saw the Shechinah” [Genesis Rabbah 77:3].In other words, that seemingly superfluous word – “saw” – leads Rabbi Levi to speculate that what the Ish saw was the Shechinah—God’s presence – hovering over Jacob. When the Ish saw the Shechinah protecting Jacob, then knew he could not vanquish him.
Why was Jacob (and by extension why are we) deserving of the watchful and protective presence of the Shechinah in our lives? Rashi teaches that the reason Jacob crossed over the Jabbok after dividing his camp and was alone was that he sought to retrieve “pachim k’tanim” –small objects – which he had left behind. Perhaps it was his care for these pachim k’tanim – small objects – that earned Jacob such great merit.
What were those small objects that were of such great importance to Jacob? We do not know; but we all have small objects that hold great significance and blessing for us.
There is the wine cup that has been in the family for a generation or the siddur received on the occasion of one’s Bar or Bat Mitzvah. There is the candy dish that was always on mother’s kitchen counter or the watch that for years was on father’s wrist. Small objects are often associated with loved ones who are gone or with experiences of the past. They don’t take up much room, but the weight of their importance is far greater than their physical dimensions. They embody memories, love, lessons and values that are sacred to us.
Whatever those small objects were that Jacob retrieved, they were something that reminded him of the importance of his family, of Abraham and Isaac’s legacy, and of his covenant with God. In going back for them, Jacob did more than retrieve objects. He demonstrated his love for these intangible ideas that guided his life. It is for this that God rewards him with the presence of the Shechinah.
The term pachim k’tanim – the small things – can also refer to the small acts that we tend to neglect in life. Sometimes the small things in life that are precious are not objects, but rather small actions, acts that we too often neglect but that hold great importance. The encouraging smile, the little courtesies, and the seemingly trivial kindness we perform for others are in their own way pachim k’tanim. The encouraging phone call, the shiva visit, or the concern for a hospitalized friend’s welfare are the type of acts that testify to our love and care for others. They don’t seem to be much, yet at the right time and place they do have significant impact. These acts and deeds mark us as an ohev et ha’briyot – a lover of our fellow human being. Like those small objects, these acts link us to our legacy of values and faith.
And then, for us as Jews, there is a third meaning of pachim ketanim – the small things that invoke God’s presence. The rabbis warned against prioritizing mitzvot and seeking to “cherry-pick” what we believe to be the important ones. They taught, “Be as mindful of a lesser mitzvah as of a greater one, for you know not the reward of either.” The seemingly lesser mitzvah may be more important than what we perceive as the greater one.
We often are much more careful about those mitzvot we perceive as being of greater significance. We put a mezuzah on our front door, but we neglect to put them on all the other doors of our house. We would never murder, we try not to bear false witness. We know it is wrong to steal. But we do not pay the same attention to the laws of gossip. Or to the importance of patience, forgiveness, simple acts of kindness.
The Torah tells us that when Esau appears on the scene he runs toward Jacob to embrace and kiss him. Then wrapped in each other’s arms the estranged brothers weep. For Esau this human touch meant more than Jacob’s vast tribute. Yes, the human touch, the embrace and the kiss are far weightier than any material gift. When we expand our horizons and are sensitive to the needs of others we then truly become worthy of the Shechinah’s protecting love.