Rabbi Stephen Weiss
Parshat Ki Tavo 2012
A person can only truly strive to change themselves if they believe that change is possible.
Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook taught that there are two different kinds of vidui, or confession. One is the form of vidui with which we are all most familiar: confession of our sins. On Yom Kippur we will beat our chest as we recite the Ashamnu and the Al Chet, both acrostics in which each letter of the alphabet represents a different category of sin. But Rav Kook teaches that there is another kind of vidui: not confession of sins, but confession of the mitzvot we have fulfilled, the acts of chesed we have performed, the love we shared and the accomplishments we achieved.
A positive vidui (confession)? Yes. Rav Kook finds it right here in our portion. At the end of the third and sixth years, after we have given our tithes, God commands: “Then thou shalt say before the LORD thy God: ‘I have put away the hallowed things out of my house, and also have given them unto the Levite, and unto the stranger, to the fatherless, and to the widow, according to all Thy commandment which Thou hast commanded me; I have not transgressed any of Thy commandments, neither have I forgotten them…. I have hearkened to the voice of the Lord my God, I have done according to all that Thou hast commanded me.” (Deut. 26:13-14). In other words, we are bidden to articulate what we have done right, not just what we have done wrong,
Why should we make this declaration? The truly righteous examine their inclinations and their deeds and recognize their imperfections. Recognizing our faults is the first step in changing so we can best serve God and our fellow human beings. Still, it is possible for a person to be overly critical of themselves, so focused on their faults that they fail to see the goodness within themselves, to give themselves credit for what they have done right. When we are too hard on ourselves we undermine our own self esteem and our happiness.
Rabbi Joseph Soloveitchik goes still farther. He teaches that the purpose of confession is that a person acknowledges they have done wrong and dedicates themselves to not repeating their sin. But a person can only truly strive to change themselves if they believe that change is possible. If a person sees their sin as the totality of their being than that person will have no confidence in their ability to transform themselves. Real teshuvah (repentance) therefore requires both humility to recognize our faults and pride in our ability to do right.
Of course, as it says in Proverbs, “Pride goes before destruction and haughtiness before a fall” (16:18). Overconfidence and blindness to our weaknesses can lead us into sin. The key is a healthy balance of modesty and self-esteem: to know we need to improve but to also know and celebrate that we can improve.
So this High Holiday season, make a list of everything you did RIGHT in the past year, and let your pride in those accomplishments serve as your inspiration to reach for even greater heights. There is no wrong you cannot set right if you set your mind and our heart to the task. The ability to change is God’s greatest gift to us.