Overcoming Fear

We should not allow ourselves to be paralyzed by fear.

Once the great Hassidic Rebbe, Zusya, prayed to God: “Lord, I love you so much, but I do not fear you enough! Lord, I love you so much, but I do not fear you enough! Let me stand in awe of you like your angels, who are penetrated by your awe-inspiring name.” And God heard his prayer, and God’s name penetrated the heart of Zusya as it does those of the angels. But Zusya crawled under the bed like a little dog, and animal fear shook him until he howled: “Lord, let me love you like Zusya again!” And God heard him this time also.

I feel like Zusya. Every day I try to experience a sense of awe that the power of God expressed through the natural world. I know that often I am distracted, or I take things for granted. I pray to God, teach me to fear you, to understand what it means that I owe my life and my very being to you, so that I may serve you. And now, I am confronted with the reality of God’s infinite power in the form of a virus, so small it cannot be seen, that is capable of turning our whole world and our lives upside down, bringing down whole nations, roiling economies, shutting down schools, businesses, restaurants, disrupting our relationships, isolating us from each other. I am like Zusya, curled up in a ball under my bed, shaking, quivering with fear, praying to God please, let me love you again as I did before.

Our ancestors also knew what it meant to be gripped by fear Think about the ancient Israelites wandering in the desert. They had experienced extraordinary miracles. The exodus itself, the pillar of fire that held back the Egyptian chariots at the seashore, the splitting of the sea, bitter waters turned sweet, manna from heaven to sustain them, revelation at Mount Sinai. They knew God’s protection. But they also became dependent upon it, inured to it. Then Moses ascends the mountain to receive the Torah. Night falls and he has not returned.

A day passes, then two, then three. Days turn to weeks, and there is no sign of their leader and no sign of his God. Imagine how alone they must have felt. How vulnerable. How afraid. Paralyzed by fear like Zusya. Desperate for something to hold on to, anything, anything that could calm their fears, they demand of Aaron that he find them another God. No, make them another God, make a calf.

And Aaron, he was also afraid. He was not afraid that Moses would not return. Rashi teaches us that Aaron feared the mob mentality that had beset the people. He feared that if he created an idol, God would punish him, but if he refused the people’s demand, they would kill him.

Aaron was like Zusya too. Paralyzed. So he stalled. He told them to collect their jewelry so they would have the gold needed to make the calf. Surely Moses would be back before they finished the collection. But he wasn’t. So Aaron made a fire and tosses the gold into melt. Fashioning the calf would take a long time, surely by then Moses will have returned. But the unexpected happens. As soon as Aaron tosses the gold into the fire, a golden calf walks right out of the flames.

So Aaron tries another stall tactic. He sets up a major religious festival. The people would have to prepare, and by then Moses would be back. But he was not back. And the preparations turned to celebrations, and the celebrations turned to rowdiness, and as the people reveled in their new God, they partook of the three cardinal sins: idolatry, licentiousness and murder.

We can relate to Aaron and the Israelites because we to are now living in a world of fear, panic and anxiety. The corona virus – or covid-19 – looms as a threat to us no matter what direction we turn. It has permeated the entire globe, it seeps into our communities and homes, and at times it feels like we are powerless to stop it.

How do we deal with that fear and anxiety?

Well, I was at the store the other day and I saw this one gentleman who had loaded up his shopping cart with dozens of bottles of hand sanitizer and disinfecting wipes … I get so frustrated when I see people hoarding these vital supplies. But this guy didn’t have five bottles or ten. He must have had twenty. I was so angry that I must confess I let loose on him, shouting, “How dare you hoard sanitizer like that! Its because of people like you that those who are older and vulnerable will not find any left when they come here and they need it more than you!” When I finished my rant, the man looked at me and said, “Are you finished? Because I really need to get back to stocking the shelves.”

The story is funny, but we have all seen the rows of empty shelves in stores. Hand sanitizer cannot be found anywhere, even on Amazon, and Toilet paper and food supplies are disappearing as well. I read on Facebook that Costco has sold out of all their Kosher for Passover meats. I have talked with several people in the food industry who assure me that there is not a real shortage of any of these items. So take a deep breath! The challenge is just the distributors and stores keeping up with the increased demand. They will all be restocked.

But the rush to the stores demonstrates that we, like our ancestors, respond to fear with a mob mentality that is irrational and looks for immediate answers, things we can do right now to feel more in control, even if they do not make sense.

Okay, Rabbi, you say to me. That all well in good. I won’t go out and buy a year’s supply of toilet paper. But we are watching whole countries shut down, we are locked in our homes, we are losing our jobs, hospital beds are going to become scarce as the number of infections continues to rise. How do I deal with my fear, my anxiety? How can I avoid panic? How do we avoid a mob mentality?

The first thing we need to recognize is that fear is a normal and necessary response. God gave us the ability to fear for a reason. Fear raises our awareness of our surroundings and makes us think more about our actions. It sparks our fight or flight response so that in one way or another we seek to remove ourselves from the danger. Our fear pushes us to listen to the warnings and take all the necessary precautions. That is good.

It’s okay to fear and to use our fear to protect ourselves and others. But we should not allow ourselves to be paralyzed by fear.

There is a very famous teaching of Rabbi Nachman of Breslov that has become a popular Hebrew song. I gave a high holiday sermon on it once. Kol ha-olam kulo gesher tzar m’od – the whole world is a very narrow bridge – v’ha-ikkar lo l’fached klal – and the main thing is not to fear. That I show we sing it. But that actually is not Rav Nachman’s words. In his writings, it does not say l’fached – to fear. Rather, the verb is in the reflexive form, yitpached, which means to be paralyzed by fear. So, his actual teaching is The whole world is a very narrow bridge, and the main thing is do not become frozen or paralyzed by fear. Fear is okay. Fear is natural. But do not allow your fears to paralyze you.

How can we keep ourselves from being paralyzed by fear?

The first step is trying to focus on the present. There is a lot that we do not know about this virus. We have not had this kind of pandemic in a century. Medical and scientific experts and prognosticators are painting pictures of the future that run the gamut from highly optimistic to darkly pessimistic. But they are all only guesses, no matter how educated.

Instead of fearing the future, try having faith in the future. Believe that God is indeed watching over us, that God will carry us through this darkness and bring us once again to light. Have faith that good things are ahead, in sight.

Fear and faith have something in common. They both ask us to believe something is going to happen that we cannot see. Fear says that our suffering and burdens will stay with us, that they will get even worse. Faith says our best days are still ahead of us. We cannot see which will come to pass. But we can choose which future we see. And the future we see now influences the actual future we will experience in its own time.

Faith brings good things. Fear brings negative things. Its not hocus-pocus. There are no magical formulas. But when we operate from a position of faith, when we believe we can succeed, and that God will help us succeed, then the fear and panic subsides a sense of calm overtakes us. We are able to think more clearly, to focus on what really matters, to appreciate the gifts we have, to share those gifts with others, to lift up ourselves higher and help make our world better. When we believe, we tap into the power and spirit of God, and God gives us the strength and equanimity to overcome.

So, pray. Pray every day. Pray with your whole heart and being. Pray the traditional texts, pray the psalms, with our minyan over stream or zoom. And pray individually, privately in your own heart. Rav Nachman encouraged a form of prayer that sounds a little like the name of one of the earlier democratic candidates for president: hitbodedut – isolation. How appropriate to our time. Nachman felt a Jew should at times go off somewhere – for Nachman it was the forest, and we are still allowed to go to the metro parks –to be alone and have a conversation with God. Not written prayers. Not meditation. But a conversation. Pour out your heart. Tell God all your worries and concerns. Kvetch and even yell at God, express your anger over this crisis. Hold God to account. But also ask God to watch over you and those you love, to give you wisdom, the strength and compassion and insight to help you through.

Another way that we can ease our fear is to embrace Shabbat in our lives. Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel taught that Shabbat is a sanctuary in time. In this week’s parshah, when God gives instructions for building the tabernacle in the wilderness, God adds the phrase “but observe my Sabbaths.” The sages taught this means that one may not violate the Sabbath even to build a house of God.

This teaches us that our sanctuary in time is even more sacred than our physical sanctuary. So, during this time that we cannot physically gather in a sanctuary, make your time holy. Think, how are you using this gift of extra quality time to spend with your family and friends, in person at home or virtually? How are you using the gift of time you do not normally have to study Torah? How are you using the opportunity you have now to make time for prayer?

We all will deal with this crisis differently. But we should learn from our ancestors what it means to not allow ourselves to be paralyzed. To fill ourselves with faith and not fear. To trust in God. To lean on God. To allow God into our lives now when we need God most.

And God’s promise to us is found in words on King Solomon’s fabled ring, which was inscribed with three Hebrew letters: gimel, zayin, yud. They stood for gam zeh ya’avor – “this too will pass.” So may it be quickly in our day that the plague passes and our world is restored. Until that day, let us lean on God, and on our faith, to get us through.

Shabbat Shalom.